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The Magic Bullet

31 Aug

Quick fix weight loss is a huge industry. A clunky revolutionary shoe that helps you burn calories and tone your legs without actually exercising. A 5-minute toning workout that you can do while sleeping and wake up with a six-pack. A pill you take to lose 10 pounds after consuming 5,000 calories in one sitting. Interested? Fine, I exaggerated the last two examples but hopefully, they help to make my point.

We’re all looking for that “magic bullet” but whatever happened to good ol’ fashion diet and exercise?  That’s why I appreciate this ad from Nike.

The Last Exorcism on Chatroulette

20 Aug

I’ve seen quite a few brands try to promote themselves on Chatroulette but none have encountered a great deal of success. However, this promotion for The Last Exorcism movie is genius and the reactions are hilarious.

Best Job in the World: Part III

29 Jun

Two words: Beer. Taster.

Imagine spending your days in a cool brewery tasting the different kinds of beer. Maybe add in a sandwich and comfortable couch. It’s a pretty simple but sweet image – count me in.

What does it take to be a beer taster? Based upon advertising, men like beer better than women do and often, more than they like women. Though men account for 72.8% of beer sales, women are better beer tasters because they can better detect undesirable chemicals such as 3-methyl-2-butene-1-thoil that make beer taste “skunky”. In addition, women have a better sense of smell, which is crucial when judging the taste of beer.


Whatever the science may be, how cool is that job? Find out how to be a professional beer taster.

Twitter

30 Oct

Oh, Twitter.  How I love thee – 140 characters at a time.  Here are a few Twitter resources that I enjoy:

Share pictures – http://www.twitpic.com/
Twitter Survival Guide – http://www.twitip.com/
Directory of Awesome Lists on Twitter (new feature in Beta) – http://listorious.com/
Automatically follow those who follow you – http://www.socialoomph.com/
Receive Twitter Alerts – http://www.twilert.com
Social Compass (iPhone only) – http://www.loopt.com/
How much is your Twitter profile worth? – http://tweetvalue.com/
Tweet Clouds – http://tweetclouds.com/
10 Features That Will Make Twitter Better – http://sixrevisions.com/web_design/10-features-that-will-make-twitter-better/

Follow me: http://twitter.com/corleyroberts

Consider the Silence… Broken

15 Sep

I’m breaking my blog silence.  So, what’s my excuse for the past 6-ish months?

1) Freakish busyness
2) Perfectionism

The first reason is obvious and self-explanatory.  Work has been absolute insanity for the past couple of months.  I’m not talking “oh my gosh, I don’t even have enough time to give myself a daily manicure” crazy.  I’m talking “I couldn’t even give myself a manicure if I tried because I don’t have any fingernails left as a result of my recently-developed extreme nail-biting feast” crazy.  Yikes.  Well, those days are over… because that’s neither healthy nor fun. And, I’m in desperate need of a manicure.

The second reason is reflective and deep.  Prepare yourself for some mind-blowing psychoanalysis.

“Hi, my name is Corley and I’m a perfectionist.”

Come to think of it, that analysis doesn’t require any level of reflection whatsoever.  It’s a fact.  A scientific fact, at that.  For example, let’s analyze my approach to topic selection.

Okay, it’s that time again.  Time to update the ol’ blog.  What should I write about?  It should be interesting and hilarious, just like me.   Err… I hope I’m still fooling everyone (well, all 3 people that read my blog every so often, includng my mom) into thinking I’m interesting and hilarious.  What if my blog is becoming dull?  Uh oh.  I need this blog post to really “hit a homerun”.  Oh yeah, and please don’t use sports analogies in your post.  How about augmented reality?  No way.  That topic is far too overanalyzed and already outdated.  Think of another.  How about that article you found the other day?  How about you write an entire 4-page analysis of that article and then scratch the whole thing because it’s dumb and boring?  How does that sound?

And that’s just topic selection.  Don’t even get me started on how I must correctly type each word as  I go because typos just don’t fly.  What if I don’t catch them before clicking “Publish”? I can’t continue typing a word until I know the previous is correctly spelled.  Annnnnd, how I follow the ever-efficient “write a sentence, re-read the sentence, rewrite the first half of the sentence, re-rewrite that section of the sentence, realize that word isn’t perfect, scratch the entire sentence and rewrite it, continue with the paragraph, reread the paragraph, notice sentences that end in prepositional phrases, rewrite sentences 2,3,4 and 7 out of 9, reread the entire paragraph……” process.

That’s exhausting.

Heck, although I’m extremely close to attaining perfection (because my Mom says so), my blog doesn’t need to be perfect.  There aren’t character limits, my blog won’t win awards, and spelling certainly doesn’t need to be absolutely perfect… Ehh, okay, let’s be reasonable and understand that spelling still needs to be perfect.  Or, as accuratte as possible.

… Yeah, that extra “t” is killing me. But, I’ll keep it because I’m taking a new HPBW approach.

HPBW Barbie

27 Jan

America’s youth is tired of the lazy, unambitious, self-absorbed Barbie.  There’s more to life, honey.

My next big idea is HPBW Barbie.  She’s a successful, charming, ethical, powerful, and intelligent executive with style and class to boot– she’s got it all!  I’ll sell millions and take the country by storm– maybe even inspire a generation of young girls.

HPBW Barbie

* HPBW Barbie accessories sold separately, including Versace business suit, matching Louis Vuitton briefcase and file folders, Christian Louboutin pumps, and Chanel timepiece.

Deion + Corley = BFF

7 Oct

You might recognize this man as Deion Sanders, one of the greatest athletes in NFL history.  This morning, I had an important business meeting with Deion (we’re on a first name basis) about his involvement in the Dallas community.  HPBW to HPBM.

Not a big deal… just a normal HPBW day. *

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*I’ll never admit to the following details (as they make this post less exciting): There might have been 100 other people in the meeting and it might have been a sales pitch to sponsor Prime Time Army, his football camp for kids and future NFL draft-picks.