The Next Generation of Sandwich: Scanwiches

You thought the Internet couldn’t get any more delicious? Well,  now you can scan your savory sandwich and share it with the world.

Interactive eating experience? That’s HPBW style.

Best Job in the World

How would you define the best job in the world?   Does Caretaker of the Islands of the Great Barrier Reef sound about right?

Caretaker responsibilities include living in a beach home for six months, sampling new luxury spa treatments, snorkeling, watching whales, and blogging about the experience.  Salary for this job is AUD $150,000 (USD $98,434.07) for a six-month contract.  That’s what “paid vacation” SHOULD mean.

Apply now!  Just don’t do anything stupid in your video application.

Dallas Art Fair = LOVE

Art Nerd Post #2.  Heck, even an HPBW has an artsy side.

This weekend, I attended the first annual Dallas Art Fair.  I spent 4 hours perusing 2 floors of incredible artwork by talented, influential artists like Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol, and Jasper Johns.  Truly, I was in the presence of greatness.

However, a few (lesser known) artists really caught my eye including Robert Standish whose work is featured below.

Untitled (Triptych Lights), 2008

On a different note, I advise against using the following line when picking up girls at an art fair: “Can I ask you a question?  Why the heck would anyone pay $10,000 for a painting?”

What is HPBW’s personality?

Based on my writing style, Typealyzer determined that my blog has the following personality: The Guardians

The organizing and efficient type. They are especially attuned to setting goals and managing available resources to get the job done. Once they have made up their mind on something, it can be quite difficult to convince otherwise. They listen to hard facts and can have a hard time accepting new or innovative ways of doing things.

The Guardians are often happy working in highly structured work environments where everyone knows the rules of the job. They respect authority and are loyal team players.

In addition, the program produces a chart revealing which parts of my brain are dominant when I blog.

Although the above assessment is fairly accurate, this program would be much cooler if it didn’t generate new results upon refresh.  Come on, HPBW isn’t THAT moody!

Happy Birthday, Jackson Pollock!

Today marks the birth of the late Jackson Pollock in 1912, an American abstract expressionist painter.

Lavender Mist: Number One, 1950

As an art history nerd, I’m fascinated by the mixed reviews of his artistic work– people either love him or hate him.  To some, his paintings have been described as “not art” and “a joke in bad taste”.  Those same critics are “astonished that decorative ‘wallpaper’, essentially brainless, could gain such a position in art history alongside Giotto, Titian, and Velázquez.”  On the other hand, his creative approach inspired an entirely new style of art: action painting.  His departure from traditional art and conventional techniques challenges the audience to question what art really is.  How is art defined? And, who judges what is or is not art, good or bad?

Create your own Jackson Pollock painting.

HPBW Barbie

America’s youth is tired of the lazy, unambitious, self-absorbed Barbie.  There’s more to life, honey.

My next big idea is HPBW Barbie.  She’s a successful, charming, ethical, powerful, and intelligent executive with style and class to boot– she’s got it all!  I’ll sell millions and take the country by storm– maybe even inspire a generation of young girls.

* HPBW Barbie accessories sold separately, including Versace business suit, matching Louis Vuitton briefcase and file folders, Christian Louboutin pumps, and Chanel timepiece.

Seniors, drink to your health…

I have good news for my friends still in college (soon to be, alums!)– CNN.com reported that drinking is good for a Senior’s health.

Saved by the Bailout!

(A parody of Saved by the Bell TV show theme song)

When I wake up in the morning

And the bank gives out a warning
And I don’t think I ever pay my bills on time
By the time I grab my checkbook
And I give myself a look
I’m at the corner just in time to see the cash fly by
It’s alright ‘coz I’m saved by the bailout!

Goodbye, Bush. Hello, Obama.

Change is in the air!

At almost the same moment as President Barack Obama was sworn into office today, his official White House website launched.  As explained on the website, “WhiteHouse.gov will be a central part of President Obama’s pledge to make his the most transparent and accountable administration in American history.”

Where’s the downloadable bailout application?

The Value of Friendship

As an HPBW, I understand my friendship is probably worth a lot more to you than your average friend.  But, can you put a price on my friendship?

Via Whopper Sacrifice, Facebook users cash in on virtual friendships by deleting 10 friends in exchange for a free Whopper.  If the Whopper costs $2.40, each friend is worth a “whopping” $0.24.

Hey, it’s me or the Whopper!